I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
