I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
