That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
