Whod you bang
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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