strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
