All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
