Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
