I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
