You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
