I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
