My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize