She's JV to your varsity
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
