In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
