It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
