Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
