I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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