doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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