I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
