So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
