butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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