And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize