All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
