If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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