She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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