"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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