We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize