windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
