yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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