you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
