My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
