Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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