I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm at about main and main street
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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