it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
