Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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