Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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