Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
