He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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