I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize