Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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