2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
