omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we should paint friendship bongs
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