guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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