just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My pussy is not your playground.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
