I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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