don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
