Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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