When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
