I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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