I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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