dude i'm inner monologue high
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
