he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
