I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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