if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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