Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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