i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just pee around me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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