you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
