Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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