So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
