I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
