it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
