I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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